Friday, May 9, 2008

a letter from mom

most of the readers of this blog know about my mother. what you might not know, is that this month she will have been gone five years, and every hour of every single day i think of her and miss her. as mother's day approaches, i find myself a little sad...BUT god works in funny ways!! recently, i came across a blog, opening my eyes to a new way of thinking about this holiday, and then today i found this: an email my mom sent me in 1999!! (yes, i could hardly believe i still had it!) so wherever you are, whatever stage of life you are in, wherever your mother may be....happy mother's day! :)

Sommie, I thought you might enjoy this:
I HAVE LEARNED..........I've learned....that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved...the rest is up to them. I've learned....that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back. I've learned....that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. I've learned...that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts. I've learned...that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something. I've learned...that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do. I've learned....that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. I've learned...that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I've learned...that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I've learned...that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. I've learned...that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. I've learned...that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I've learned...that money is a lousy way of keeping score. I've learned...that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time. I've learned...that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up! I've learned...that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I've learned...that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. I've learned...that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. I've learned....that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. I've learned..that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or out landish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it. I've learned...that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological. I've learned...that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I've learned.....that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself. I've learned...that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. I've learned...that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. I've learned...that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other and just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do. I've learned...that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change. I've learned...that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret, it could change your life forever. I've learned...that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I've learned....that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process. I've learned...that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you. I've learned...that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. I've learned...that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. I've learned...that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon. I've learned...that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
.....love you, Mom.

7 comments:

CathyBB said...

Oh wow. Now THAT made my day. I've been thinking about you a lot this week as Mother's Day approaches; I'm so glad you found this! I've no doubt she's still looking out for you, sweetie!

PS Bobbie is going to love this!

John, Shannon, & Jackson: said...

You're the only one who fully understands how much I miss her. Having said that, you're also the only one who knows how much I continue to learn from her EVERY day of my life. What an amazing Mother we have, and how proud am I to say that we have that in common. Happy Mother's Day! I love you!

Christy said...

I have fond memories of watching your mother take care of you as a baby. She was ALWAYS happy. I know I was just a kid, but I'm pretty sure some of that southern-loving/mothering transferred over to me and Cathy. She loved you and your sister SO MUCH. What a wonderful discovery in your e-mail.
Happy Mother's Day to you and Shannon. I know your mom is so proud of you both.

Anonymous said...

i love your moms e mail to you it hit the nail on the head love maw day

Stacia said...

Wow! That really made me cry. I lost my Mom at 18 and always have a hard time with Mother's Day. Thanks for sharing!

Jenny said...

carolyn was an awesome woman, and i know she would be very proud of you and shannon. with lots of love ...

Stephanie Reeves said...

How cool to have found that e-mail. What a very wise and insightful lady......... Love the new sketches up top too. Happy Belated Mother's Day!