Tuesday, January 12, 2010

wails, wedding rings, and reality

i was cooking dinner last night, and sweet miss vivian zoomed past me towards the upstairs.
"is everything alright?"
"yes mommy, i just need to potty."
"ok, the light is on in my bathroom if you want to use that one."
"thanks, mom." and she runs off.
i smile to myself, thinking how blessed i am to have such a big girl. ahhh, sooo proud! :) i continue with my perfect potatoes au gratin and meatloaf, checking periodically on the cake baking in the oven. lalalaaaa, life is sooo grand. i am becky homecky, and i have it all under control... (yeah right!)
i suddenly hear a scream that any mother KNOWS means business. i freeze momentarily, and then sprint upstairs like an olympic athlete....i find vivian hysterical.
"what is wrong, my love?"
"i'm (sniff sniff) SOOOO sorry mommy."
"what? did you have an accident?" (i couldn't imagine, it had been such a long time, but what could upset her this badly?)
"NO....but please don't be mad, it was just an accident."
"what was an accident?"
"i was just looking and i dropped them."
"dropped what?"
"your weddings rings.....but it was just an accident. i am so sorry."
"well vivian, that isn't a big deal....why are you so upset?"
she looks at me slowly, still sobbing, and all of a sudden i realized what has happened. still, i am afraid to ask, but i know i must...
"vivian, WHERE did you drop my wedding rings?"
"in the potty."
grrrrreat. i quickly decided at this point there was no reason to punish her, obviously she felt badly without any condemnation from me.
"well, that isn't good....but wait, have you flushed the potty?" (i inquire with a slim glimmer of hope.)
"no." (ahhhhh, huge sigh of relief. at least i will be able to fish them out. i mean, it's gross, but at least mine and my grandmother's wedding rings are not part of the nlr public sewage system.)
"ok, well then just calm down. mommy can fix it. i will go and get something to take them out."
"NOOOOOOOOO!!! you can't!!"
"why not?"
"cause i already did that."
again, already knowing the answer i ask the question:
"you did?"
"yeah, but i had to stick my hand way way WAAAYYYY down in the potty, where the poopoo hides."
sigh. grrrrreat. even better. so the rings are indeed safe, but.....needless to say a little (read: enormous antibacterial soap filled) bath was in order. along, with a complete bleaching of every surface in the master bath. so the moral to the story: life with a four year old....never dull, or perfect. ;)


jkhenson said...

So did you/she get them out??

What an event! Hope all is well with all 5 of you! :)

CathyBB said...

=) I'm so sorry but I must admit I giggled when I read the story this time! Still so sorry you had to go through yet another massive cleansing procedure BUT... it's certainly never boring!

Jill said...

Oh my word. Kudos for keeping your cool. Poor baby, she really did feel bad! :)

katandkarl said...

hahhahahahhahaah. oh becky homecky this is a fabulous (and disgusting) tale and i am so glad you wrote it for us.

Susan said...

I still have the text from Clif saved on my phone from the night it happened. Hilarious!