lists and hope

with mother's day behind, and the move ahead i have spent a lot of time recently making lists. i must confess it soothes me. i love to see it all right before my eyes, to plan the route to make it all happen, and to methodically cross it off. this morning after dropping vivian off at school, list in hand i headed out to "conquer". upon arriving home, bauer had fallen asleep so i decided to do a little computer work, smugly thinking how it fit "perfectly" into my schedule. but as a checked the bank accounts, blogs, and emails i noticed something. a friend had asked me to check out the website of a little boy who was ill, and asked me for my opinion. as most of you know, i have a very blunt way of dealing with illness. and for me, false hope is almost as frightening as the disease itself. HOWEVER, as i read about this boy (who is vivian's age), i couldn't help but begin to hope. now let me say this: his lungs are infected, kidneys dysfunctional at best, his brain permanently damaged, and his heart...well, it is the sickest of all, BUT i have hope. funny how motherhood will do that to you. funny how, with all my being i ache for this unknown family, and against all odds, hope. i hope they find what they need to make it through each hour of the day. i hope they can see past all the wires, tubes and machines, and see their amazing gift from god, their son. i hope they find comfort in each others arms. and i hope beyond hope there is peace. if you find a moment today where your child is a wild man in target, your husband doesn't ask about your day when he enters the door, or your best friend finds it more impending to grouch about her new sofa than say thanks for the mother's day call, or something unexpected comes along and you just can't finish your list...take a moment and have hope, and i guarantee it will help you find peace. love to you all!